America, listen up! You’ve overstayed your welcome. The world doesn’t want you to continue in this self-appointed role of “world nanny”. It’s obvious from the universal distain with which you are viewed by forward thinking, educated, and progressive peoples all over the world. Even your own citizens (at least the intelligent ones like professors, entertainers, politicians, and reporters) all agree. You, United States of America, are a horrible world citizen.
Turn that statue of yours around and let her shine her light inward for a while. The rest of the world no longer has any need or desire to come to your shores.

Militarily, you are a hulking dinosaur. Why do you continue to maintain bases around the world? All they do is put a strain on the resources and economies of their host countries. Those countries don’t want the protection and deterrence you claim to offer. You should immediately close all offshore bases. Bring every last troop home to deal with the problems you have in your own vile, lawless country. Imagine how much safer the people of Canada and Mexico would feel if you stationed all your troops along both borders of your country? It would ensure that US citizens didn’t attempt to sneak across the southern border for a better life in Mexico. Or into Canada for faster health care service, or better shopping.
Besides, it’s long been known that US military bases aren’t really there for the good of the economies of the host countries or the safety of the citizens. They’re only there to protect the business interests of US based corporations that prey on that citizenry.
And what about those businesses? Do your corporate buddies improve the general wellbeing and economies of other countries? Of course they don’t. They are merely exploiting the innocent, forcing unnecessary technologies, not to mention Coca Cola and Big Macs, down their throats.
You should demand, for the sake of the world, that all US corporations immediately suspend activities in other countries. Bring their manufacturing back to within your own borders where they belong. You should never have exported your poor working conditions and capitalistic heresy overseas in the first place.
Latin America, Africa, Asia, Eastern Europe, Europe, and Canada all have much better health care systems than yours. They’ve all said so. They are completely capable of training their own medical personnel and staffing their own hospitals without your interference. I don’t think you’ve noticed, your pharmaceutical research and technological innovations, are of no interest to the rest of the world.
And since all of these health care systems are so much better than what you have to offer, it makes perfect sense for you to step back and allow them to take the lead in all things humanitarian throughout the rest of the world. Start by instructing all of your non-profit aid organizations to mind their own business and provide services only within your borders. That alone would cause the world to breathe a huge sigh of relief. So what if you give 40% of the world’s aid? You should be embarrassed to be so stingy. Keep your lousy generosity.
Another thing, about you – where do you get off thinking you are the only country with the capability to host the world’s diplomatic community? It’s high time you admitted that there are dozens of other countries around the world that are better suited to become the physical home of the United Nations. Life itself would be more pleasant for UN diplomats if they could live and work in a more forward thinking and exciting city, instead of the backwater that is NYC.
And think of all the countries that have to put up with the presence of your embassies in their cities. What good are they except to replace lost passports for loud, rude, arrogant American tourists that nobody wants there in the first place? Close the embassies, America. Tell your citizens to stay home and visit their own country for a change.
Who do you think you are, anyway? You’ve got unemployment of your own. Build your own factories on your own land and put those people to work. You’ve got farmland and ranch land going to waste. Worry about feeding the hungry and homeless in your own country. The rest of the world is sick to death of all the corn and wheat you keep shipping to their shores. Enough already! Raise your own sheep and make your own wool. Grow your own cotton and make your own clothing. Dig your own oil wells and produce your own energy. Mine your own minerals and metals and make your own steel and tin. You need to quit relying on the rest of the world to make your life easier. Time to grow up, America!
Yes, the world will be much better off when you realize that you just don’t belong any longer. Start minding your own back yard and leave the rest of the world alone.
So, America, this message is for you. Time to butt out.
Please exit graciously. Stage right.
©2010, Deborah L. Horn